july covet.

july covet.
june has been pretty much non-stop terrible, with terrible on top of terrible and random curveballs of terrible being hurled from every direction. so i say let’s close the books on june. and anyways july is kind of a major month. i mean, it’s summer. people are generally pretty stoked on july. july is smack dab in the middle of peony season, which means giant buckets of beautiful pink and coral and white and purple ones everywhere. i can’t deny its appeal, although i have to say that september is my personal favorite month.  i can’t decide if i’m feeling less or more patriotic this year, considering the political state of the country, but i can pretty much assume that we’ll spend yet another forth of july hiding out in our house from all of the drunken idiots setting of fireworks in the streets. hope all y’alls are lighting things on fire and toasting the america in your hearts. here is my list for july.
  1. plastic heels are still an object of obsession for me, maybe it’s fond memories from the plastic kiddie supermarket heels that my grandmother bought me when i was a little girl, but i can’t get enough of them. these beauties from dries van noten in amazing emerald green are killing me ($335). as are these crazy cool blue wedges by margiela on ebay ($185). and these sweet little golden vintage honies which are much closer to my price point these days ($35).
  2. i’m feeling like peach one piece swimsuits with ruffles are where it’s at this summer. like this radical high cut one from hunza g x pandora sykes ($156), this adorable vintage one ($89), or this major cutie by samantha pleet ($149).
  3. i still think wearing flower crown headbands ($45) with bathing suits is cool. blame esther williams.
  4. i’ve been dreaming about this bamboo chair with martinique print cushions from modernhaus forever ($625). it’s so g.dang dreamy.
  5. i’ve also been dreaming about getting one of these cool round felted white rugs ($248) forever, but i have a toddler. the days of beautiful furniture and rugs are over.
  6. i’m a sucker for glowy primers, but this nars one ($36) is also spf 35 which is 5 spfs more than my tinted moisturizer. feels like i’m taking care of important things while trying to look sparkly.
  7. sale season is tough b/c i really want all the things. but i feel like a crochet dress with fringe is maje for summer. like this striped macrame dress from jaline which is 60% off ($180). or this amazing octavia dress from ulla johnson which is over on the real real ($122.50). or this ultimate number one best dress from celine ($1645) which i will likely never ever see in person let alone touch with my own hands.
  8. so maybe a crochet hand towel instead? ($14 for 2!)
  9. how cute is this vintage pie plate with a strawberry pie recipe on it? cute as pie. ($10).

the end.

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mood board.

the gilded cyber cage.

a male friend of mine indulges me in the same conversation whenever we are having drinks, one where i list off the things that women worry about constantly that men never think about. he listens to me talk about weight, diet, exercise, body shape, outfits and outfit appropriateness, hair coloring, waxing, nail care, lingerie, tanning, skin care, makeup, on and on, and shakes his head with exasperation. and always replies, “i literally never think about any of that.” my husband agrees and they both tell me that apart from the occasional thought of working on the beer gut, weight doesn’t figure. neither of them have ever looked at another man and thought, “i wish i looked like that.” in fact, both tell me that they have never wished that they looked differently than they do. it has never occurred to either of them.

this conversation comes up often because it continues to astound me how much women go through daily that men never experience. the standards that we hold ourselves to and live by that don’t exist for men. i would say that largely my life revolves around my appearance. my weight, how i look, my hair and skin are things that are constantly on my mind. that’s not to say that there aren’t more important and meaningful things in my life. it’s more like those things are always present, like being a diabetic who always has to be conscious of food choices and blood sugar levels, it’s just something that i live with. having a child changed my priorities and most certainly my schedule, but i still manage to insert those things into my life, i find time to exercise and color my hair and eat well and use seven different creams on my skin every night. because i feel that i must.

the dark side of being a female comes via comparison. social media seems to have taken over the role once occupied by men judging beauty pageants (and sitting in the oval office, apparently). women posting selfies tauting six pack abs or thigh gaps, or padded behinds with teeny tiny cinched waists. waifish girls lounging on beaches in string bikinis holding giant frothy sugary cocktails. all of them implying that there is something natural about it. easy. i don’t know how girls today are supposed to establish any sort of positive self-image when they are bombarded with images of bodies constantly. bodies that are starved or worked into submission, surgically enhanced and photoshopped and corseted and cajoled into looking like a hundred other bodies in selfies posted on social media.

when i see pop stars or internet starlets of the day getting surgery to give them enormous hips and bums with teeny tiny waists that look like cartoon bodies, i wonder how they will feel about it in 10 years when that look is no longer in fashion. but really, what’s the difference between iggy azalea’s hips and jennifer gray’s nose? perhaps kardashian bodies are the baywatch boobs and lip injections are the tribal tattoos of the present day. it does seem to be an evolution, it’s an intense one for sure, but along the same line. and the thing of it is, despite growing up in a different era i am not immune to the current pressure to look bikini booty selfie ready. the effects of being photographed constantly and having a hyper-photo-documented life and feeling like you’re being watched & judged all the time are real. even if you avoid being snap-chatted or selfie-sticked, we’re all seeing those images in a steady stream, all day every day. what you are seeing 8 billion times a day is bound to influence and make one compare themselves to the easy breezy yet perfectly curated minutia of the insta-world.

i often lament that girls today have no personal style because they are flooded with so much information that they don’t have the space to make choices for themselves. to quote chloe sevigny: “I’m very confused by millennials. When I was a teenager, your wardrobe identified who you were. There aren’t any tribes anymore; just teenagers dressing as one.” as a teenager my idols were musicians and actors that had unique styles of their own, i looked for pieces of them that felt true, or like pieces of the puzzle to the woman i was becoming. i wanted courtney love’s lipstick & babydoll dress or winona ryder’s haircut & baggy old man sweaters. i never wondered who their personal trainers were or what diet they were on.

when my mother was a girl she was not allowed to wear pants to school. her generation fought for sexual liberation as the free love generation and became largely a generation of single mothers. my generation fought for the right to be individual and to “speak our truth.” we fought against conformity as the riot grrl generation and we became largely a generation of career moms. when i look at millennials i don’t know exactly what they represent or aspire to, apart from fame. what saddens me is the extremely cut-throat and competitive attitude of girls and young women today. i agree with chloe sevigny, tribes have been replaced by gangs. it’s taylor or katy and kill or be killed.

what’s incredible is that it is the men who are speaking out about this. i noticed in comedy specials by both tracy morgan and dave chapelle that there were complaints about how women hate their bodies these days, and how sick of hearing about it they are. rappers, comedians and husbands everywhere are sick and tired of the selfie culture and the faux perfection it demands from women. and i have to say, aren’t we all sick and tired of it? isn’t it time the reality tv generation grew up and accepted a little reality?

-end rant-